Time changes, the girl grows up, the mother remains silent… But within the silence, two different eras begin to speak.
INTRODUCTION: TWO WORLDS – MOTHER AND DAUGHTER
The life of a girl growing up with her mother is full of contradictions. Two women growing up under the same roof, sharing the same table — one tries to teach life, the other wants to live a different version of it. The mother says, “In our time,” while the daughter replies, “It’s not like that anymore.”
This confrontation sometimes turns into a conflict born of love, and sometimes into a silence full of affection. But where does this difference stem from? Is it the times that have changed — or the people themselves?
I. CHANGING SOCIAL ENVIRONMENT: FROM CLOSED SOCIETY TO OPEN WORLD
The mother's generation:
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Woman’s main role: mother, wife, homemaker.
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Little right to express opinions.
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Conservative approach to education and career.
The daughter's generation:
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Woman’s role: professional, independent, leader.
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Social media and information overload.
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Personal freedoms prioritized.
While the mother worries about “What will the neighbors say?”, the daughter asks “What will I say to myself?”
II. PSYCHOLOGICAL DYNAMICS: CONTROL, LOVE, AND UNDERSTANDING
Mother:
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Wants to protect her daughter because the world feels harsh.
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Grew up with values like obedience, patience, waiting.
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Tries to control through love.
Daughter:
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Values freedom, self-discovery, and autonomous choices.
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Finds the control within her mother’s love suffocating.
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Thinks “Mom doesn’t understand me” — but sometimes she doesn’t understand her mother either.
These different psychological codes create an emotional gap in the relationship.
III. TECHNOLOGY SHARPENS THE GENERATION GAP
For the mother, writing letters or phone calls are contact.
For the daughter — WhatsApp, emojis, “seen” indicators define communication.
Mother says: “I look at you, but your eyes are in your phone.”
Daughter says: “You look at me, mom, but you don’t feel me.”
The fast pace of technology and evolving communication styles disrupt emotional synchronization between mothers and daughters.
IV. DIFFERENT APPROACHES TO UPBRINGING
Mother’s generation:
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A woman must be quiet.
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Asking questions was considered rude.
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Leaving the house late was unacceptable.
Daughter’s generation:
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Asking questions means growth.
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Dialogue matters more than silence.
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Freedom of movement is essential.
Mother: “It wasn’t like this in our time.”
Daughter: “Then it’s time for change.”
These differences often lead to misunderstandings.
V. THE LANGUAGE OF LOVE CHANGES
Daughter wants to be loved, but how?
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“Mom, show me you trust me.”
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“Don’t compare me, accept me.”
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“Look at me as an equal, not from above.”
Mother loves, but how?
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“Study, trust no one, protect yourself.”
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“If I say no, it’s for your own good.”
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“Live not for yourself, but for your family.”
These different love languages lead to mismatched intentions and outcomes.
VI. ACADEMIC AND PROFESSIONAL GROWTH: DIFFERENT PATHS
For the mother:
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University was a rare achievement.
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Career was a privilege for a few women.
For the daughter:
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University is just the beginning.
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Building a career enhances, not threatens, femininity.
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A woman can have both a family and a career.
At this point, the mother says “Don’t go,” and the daughter replies, “Let me find my way.”
VII. RELIGION, MORAL VALUES, AND INTERPRETATION OF TIME
Mother:
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More traditional in religious and moral matters.
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May think “Not praying or fasting means going astray.”
Daughter:
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Sees God through love, mercy, and personal experience.
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Might pray — not to prove anything to her family, but for her own soul.
This difference in spirituality can create tension even in close relationships.
VIII. FAMILY AND CHOICES: WHO SHOULD I MARRY?
Mother:
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“A girl must get married.”
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“The boy must come from a good family.”
Daughter:
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“He should value me.”
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“Marriage without love is a cage.”
The mother sees obligation as “acceptance,” the daughter sees it as “sacrifice.”
IX. UNSPOKEN WORDS BETWEEN MOTHER AND DAUGHTER
The deepest conflicts are born from silence.
Daughter: “Mom, hear me.”
Mother: “Daughter, don’t forget me.”
They love each other — but speak in different languages.
The love is there, but often misspelled.
X. HOW CAN WE GET CLOSER?
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Truly listen — without criticizing or analyzing.
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Respect experience — both the mother’s and the voice of new times.
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Engage in shared activities — watch a movie, read a book, start a dialogue.
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Practice daily gratitude —
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“Mom, I’m grateful for you today.”
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“Daughter, I accept you as you are.”
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CONCLUSION: OUR DIFFERENCES ARE OUR STRENGTH
The generational gap between mother and daughter is inevitable — but it doesn’t have to be a source of conflict. It can be a source of richness.
The daughter should not try to change her mother, nor should the mother force her daughter into old molds.
The greatest love is finding unity within differences.
QUESTION TO THE READER:
In your relationship with your mother, what topics cause the most difficulty?
How has your relationship changed over time?
Do you think these differences cause more problems — or more growth?
Share your thoughts with us — SEFEQ.COM is yours, your voices are heard here.