Listen! Contrary to what many people think (and even contrary to much experience), the most important job of a leader is not to speak, preach, direct, or give advice. The most important job of a leader is to listen.
In an interview I conducted with the well-known management expert Tom Peters, he expressed the four most important words in leadership as: “What do you think?” Tom said that listening should be the core job of a leader. In order to make informed and well-thought-out decisions, leaders must be professional “collectors” of input, ideas, feedback, perspectives, and personal experiences.
Richard Branson once said: “If you are a good leader, you are a good listener.” This is true in every area of life. However, there is one thing I observe every day: most people do not know how to listen. And this is truly surprising.
The inattentive. These are the weakest listeners. While you are speaking, they look elsewhere, check their phones, or get distracted. This behavior makes the other person feel unimportant.
The interrupters. These are people who cut you off before you finish speaking. They draw conclusions without fully listening and rush to express their own opinions. This leads to misunderstandings and shows a lack of respect.
The preoccupied thinkers. These people think about what they are going to say instead of listening to you. They wait for their moment to jump in, and it is obvious from their facial expressions and body language that they are impatiently waiting for you to finish.
The egoists. Instead of listening to you, they turn the conversation toward themselves. Rather than engaging with your story, they replace it with their own experiences. These people are more interested in presenting themselves than understanding others.
Do you recognize these types? Friends, colleagues, family members… or maybe yourself?
Jim Collins said about his teacher, one of the founders of modern management theory, Peter F. Drucker: “He led not with the desire to say something, but with the desire to learn something from every person he met.” That is why he became one of the most influential leaders.
If you want to be influential, inspire people, and become a strong leader, you must learn to listen.
My advice:
Speak less. Listen more.
Give fewer opinions. Ask more questions.
Start with Tom Peters’ simple but powerful question: “What do you think?”
Then continue with these questions:
“What do you mean?”
“Why do you think that?”
“How do you feel about it?”
And most importantly — truly listen. Do not be an inattentive, interrupting, superficial, or egoistic listener. Listen in such a way that the person speaking to you feels like the most important person in the world.